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What do you do if you are so incredibly awesome but your husband doesn't see it?

Mine wouldn't poop on me if I was poking out of the toilet.
Don't look into that meaning, it was a ramble.
Oh, move on already...

Let me start out by saying I am a twenty year old mom. I think that is enough for high recognition. Did I mention also that I have been trying my hardest to cook and clean and do laundry? (Yes, there were a few weekends where we were lazy and things didn't get done. I'm glad. We were having too much fun.)

Did I mention I got a job...
A JOB?
A JOB. A FULL TIME JOB.
A FULL TIME JOB?
YES!!! A FULL TIME JOB.

...because he said I was lazy...
Yes, leehh-zee.
Totally me, right.
Right.

Let me also tell you, listen it is VERY VITAL:

Have kids when you are retired.
Just do it.
I'm warning you, child care will RAPE YOU. AND YOUR DOG!
And your mom.
And her mom.
And dogs and moms should never be messed with.

I have been chugging along to work anyways, to make him happy.
I see my son 3 to 4 hours a day.
It's not like I love him or anything, so don't even worry.

I like money.
Families? Forever? Nah...
How about a new ipod that I will use for two months...get sick of and let scratch around inside my glove box. I need the latest computer so that when ten years go by and I still have it because I am still paying it off, those other richies will make fun of me and my ghetto ways.
Cute little baby hugs?
I pry them off with sticks!


Hmmmm.

I guess what bothers me, is the fact that childcare is so expensive that my pay will be the equivalent to around 4.00 an hour.
I am NOT a quitter. I'm looking for every which way I can.

And yes, Dennis says he is proud that I am on my "career path."
"Career path" more important than "baby son Kai."

What reaaallllllyyy bothers me, is that today I said, "I am working full time now, you need to be more appreciative of me." And he said, "Ya, and making a whole 4.00 an hour, good job."

No I didn't break down in tears at all.

I love doing what my husband wants and being stepped on for it.

I am realizing now it isn't me, it is him.
If he was standing on dirt he would say, "DIRT. You should get a real job. Be grass."
Then he would run into Grass and say, "Grass, you have a somewhat decent job. You should learn PHP and apply for a web designer. Then you would be cool."
"He would turn to Dirt and say, "Grass will never make it in the web design world."

Totally.
I am having a blast at my job.
I am doing everything freaking he wants.

If you are reading this, I suggest putting up an ad for the exact wife you are looking for (Match.com MUST have gotten our profiles mixed up) and I will just go along and sit in the grass and dirt with my baby boy and watch the clouds go by.

APPRECIATE ME!
Words hurt, babe.

Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or have baby drool all over your face?

I'll take a stab in the dark here and guess that you have never been asked this question. I thought back, past my marriage life, clear down to the day Byron Gurney threw up at the fire station in 2nd grade, and then even further, and realized, nope I have yet to hear that one as well. Dear friend, you are not alone.

I am asking because of what I witnessed this morning. Kai is wrestling around with Mr. Elephant, grunting and throwing the poor lad all about. I turn around to finish my application, and when I look back, he's asleep.

My first thought was, poor Kai, the elephant wore him out. As I looked where Kai laid his head, I found a pile of baby slobber and drool piled nicely on Mr. Elephant. Who won here? You tell me.


























Yes I did say the word application. I am job hunting again.
But 8 hours daily of Kai in daycare, Kylee are you nuts??!!!
Nope.
It will be nice to get out. I hope to meet people. That would be cute.
I also enjoy shopping just like, well, everyone.
Skills, socialization, money, change of scenery.
What's to lose?
Here is to hoping I don't fall off the deep end in a crummy job.
And that I can do the durn thing without missing baby TOO badly.


I would rather be attacked by an elephant, now that I think about it.
Baby drool is old news.

GottaBoogi OnMaFinger & I CantShakeItOff

Don't ask, all you need to know is it was a song that my dear friends Jeni and Alison used to sing many many moons ago on our many many camping trips.

Good times to be had with the Carter and Jones fam. I spent 75% of my childhood with these guys. Game nights, camping, vacations, and the likes.

A part of me misses it dearly.
Why I am reminded of these days is because of the following:

I read Alison's blog.
She posted this.
I can't believe my eyeballs.

Look at Alison and I CRUSH THAT DIRT!
Why yes, I am wearing a Buster Bunny T-shirt!
You are jealous.

Ahhhh.
Summer is making me want to camp and have crazy mad fun.

KAI!

Some pics I have taken of Kai. Enjoy.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous...
it is to decide forever to have your heart
walking outside your body.

Love.

Skit Skat Skaddley Wack!!!

Shalom.

Is Heaven kind of a big deal for you, like it is for me? Well, lucky you, they are taking reservations! Go here to register before the gates are closed!
Or would you rather take my advice and GO TO HELL?!
I plan on making my shoulder angels duel to the death over it. Then I'll decide where to sign my name. True that.

Today is my sis in law's (Katelyn Carole Green to be exact) graduation. Purdy neat.
Really neat actually. I was ready to cry the whole time. Don't ask me why, I think it was the piano music. K, I'm weird.

It's Sadie's birthday. Happy Birthday...

It's also time I caught up on more blogs.
I will add pictures to mine. (Hold your horses Mitzi! I have a mass collection of Kai just waiting to be surfaced...) Unfortunately they are all on my hard drive in a storage shed in Lehi. One thumb down to that.
And who thought of "hold your horses"? Seriously...

Survivor

(Raises arms in the air)
I'm here. I'm alive.

Yes I am Still living luxuriously at the In Laws...at first I really liked it because I learned a lot from my mother in law. We would just talk about life and what not and all the sudden things started clicking for me. I wasn't happy with the way things were at that point and time so I'm glad I got a few "clickers" from her. She hasn't a clue that she did but that's okay.
Now I am ready to blast off out of here and into our new house.
Endless episodes of HGTV has gotten me PUMPED to fancy it up.
Plus, I have SO very much to look forward to there.

Love.

My 100

I have seen a couple blogs with this on it. It won't be easy coming up with 100 things about myself but I'll give it a whirl.

1. I love photography.

2. I am a born writer. I started telling stories when I learned to talk, and I never stopped writing them when I learned to spell. I got awards every year in elementary school. In 4th through 6th grade, they had a short story contest where a winner was chosen from every class and sent to a conference at BYU. Teachers were supposed to pick someone new each year. Well, I got to go two years in a row. My teachers loved mine too much to pick someone else.

3. I got a $300 scholarship check for writing an essay. The only scholarship I applied for. You don't know how many times I've kicked myself over not applying for more.

4. I love books. Roald Dahl is my favorite.

5. I will pulverize you in Guitar Hero.

6. And Tetris.

7. I love being a mother.

8. One of my dreams is to design clothes for Jared Gold. I love his concept and I own some of his clothing, I just think a lot of his items are hideous and I could do him good.

9. I am twenty years old. Already married with a baby. Ya, I know.

10. I love to dance.

11. My new fashion is cycling class.

12. Sometimes I forget I was pregnant only 3 months ago.

13. Sometimes I still feel like I am.

14. I hold nostalgia dear.

15. Concerts were my life, I miss them.

16. I wear mocassins. I've had the same pair for years. They are stained dark and completely worn out. I would wear them to bed if I could.

17. I like to type. If my fingers could laugh, I think they would as I type so fast.

18. I itch my nose like 105,344 times a day. On average.

19. I'm growing my hair out. I'm already hating it.

20. I used to pull my hair up into a flo hawk. My guy friends adored it. My girlfriends thought I was weird.

21. I like anything Batman.

22. Summer is too beautiful. I would hate winter if Christmas wasn't in the middle of it.

23. One of my favorite days of my life was the day I first hung out with my husband.

24. My favorite movie is Hot Rod.

25. My second favorite is probably Bewitched.

26. I collect Wizard of Oz paraphernalia.

27. It started when I watched the movie and told everyone to call me Dorothy and carried a stuffed dog.

28. I like ghost towns. Eureka, Ophir, Mercur. If you told me you were taking me to one I'd probably pee my pants.

29. I love the rain. It enhances music to an incredible extent.

30. I am passionate about music. My dad is well rounded and my brother and I gathered our own love from him.

31. My dad has been playing folk music on Sundays for as long as I remember. That's one thing I miss now that I'm married and away.

32. Andrew Mcmahon sings my heart.

33. Thanks to my husband, I was able to meet a lot of bands and talented artists I look up to. My favorite has been MuteMath and Moneen.

34. I once heard someone say, "Nobody listens to Minus the Bear seriously." Well, I do.

35. I go from wearing a lot of makeup to not wearing any. Trying to find a medium.

36. I have intense dreams. Most involve me driving a car into a waterhole and dying. Its always scary.

37. I wear sweatbands and headbands and large glasses on occasion.

38. I am paranoid of everything. I am no longer in a home with the priesthood. It's a different feeling. I don't like it.

39. I'm sure I'm the first to say, I don't like the "Twilight" series. The first one had a good story, but her wording bothers me. I couldn't get into the second one and my interest died. Though I do look up to Stephanie Meyer.

40. I've never done drugs or drank alcohol. I find them repulsive.

41. I love Walt Disney. His movies make any bad day turn good.

42. I have seen every Futurama episode. Best show ever made.

43. I love nature. Sharks, dinosaurs, etc.

44. I think about the day I had my baby and smile. I'm proud. Women are amazing.

45. My favorite restaurants don't exist in Utah. Try: Hula's (Chico, California) Ernie Tomato's, Senior Frog's, any escamocha stand, (Mazatlan, Mexico) BubbaGump's (San Francisco, California)

46. One day I will be rich enough to fly out and eat at these places whenever. For now I enjoy Buca Di Beppo, Osaka, The Little Acorn and occasionally Cafe Rio.

47. I never understood why people pick favorite colors. But mine is green.

48. I am tall, but next to my husband I am a midget.

49. I enjoy shopping.

50. Ross, Target, and the mall is where I get my clothes.

51. I can play piano.

52. I have to carry a notebook with me. I write tasks, goals, and sometimes stories. It's a necessity.

53. I want a Lexus.

54. I think Family Guy is so offensive its hilarious. Don't hate me.

55. For awhile I lost my friends, but I have most of them back.

56. I want a Vespa. I saved money up for one in high school but I bought my Lebaron instead. The funny thing was there was hardly a price difference.

57. I am blind without my glasses. I want lasik.

58. I'm always staring out the window and dreaming. Like right now.

59. I have a favorite spot in Lehi. It's on a hill.

60. I'm an emotional wreck on the outside. But my heart is as strong as a diamond.

61. I was once told by a stranger that my smile could captivate a person for hours.

62. I laugh a lot. Too much perhaps.

63. Speaking of strangers, when I was little (blondest, whitest girl ever) I went to Mexico and this mexican lady ran up to me and kissed me all over my cheeks.

64. My baby loves to pull my hair out and tug my draw strings.

65. I like chocolate.

66. I hate starbursts and skittles.

67. I hate country music. I grew up in Lehi where everyone listened to it but I never caught on.

68. I don't like rap. I did catch on to a few songs, being a dancer.

69. I'm not a cook. I never had the chance. I figured I would learn in college but ended up getting married before that. I am amazing at cookies though.

70. I eat like a kid. PB&J, scrambled eggs, or mac&cheese is how I do.

71. I am always thirsty.

72. I have blue eyes.

73. I had anxiety as a child, I think years of not doing anything about it have caused other mental problems. Nothing has been diagnosed.

74. I get cold easily. It was nice being pregnant, I was always warm.

75. I love t-shirts and jeans.

76. I sport the woman stereotype by owning a plethora of shoes.

77. I love art.

78. Portraits are my favorite.

79. I have skinny fingers. They were short and fat all my life and all the sudden shrunk.

80. I am a leftie, southpaw, whatever.

81. After years of not being in dance, I can still do a mean headstand.

82. I did the splits when I was 8 months pregnant.

83. I'm sarcastic. :)

84. I have no feelings for American Idol.

85. I love a good listener.

86. Heaven to me is reading a book with a blanket and a fireplace.

87. I hate big noisy trucks.

88. Camry drivers piss me off.

89. I will never find myself in a mini van unless I have a hat and dark glasses.

90. I have been in 6 car wrecks.

91. My middle name is after my great grandpa Erin.

92. I have had the same e-mail address for like 7 years.

93. No one believes that I listen to hard music by looking at me, but I do.

94. I have to turn every light off when I leave the room, even if I will be right back. I'm always messing with the lights.

95. I rip up cardboard boxes so they fit better in the trash can.

96. For these two things above, I blame my dad.

97. My friends growing up were always jealous of me because of my amazing mother. She is incredibly supportive and hilarious to be around.

98. My dad is the wittiest person in the world.

99. I love being right smack dab in the middle of my brother and sister.

100. And that was actually harder than I thought. But I'm done.

Life

Ya know how a fly lands on your arm and at first it feels good, but then you look down and realize what it is and your immediate thought is that you want to flick it off?
Well that is how life is. :)

Something is going great and then I realize that it is actually very far from it.
Oh life, you are a tease.

We had a house getting built, Dennis had a job he loved, we thought we were settling ourselves in my hometown.

Before we could blink, we are shopping for another place to live, a new job for Dennis, and a lawyer that specializes in wrongful termination.
The landlord also posted a sign on our lawn that fell over and scratched the side of our Mazda. Beauty.
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern WASN'T having its premiere last night like we thought.

Life you are so cruel.

Who knows where we will end up and what will happen.
If I don't post for awhile, it's probably because we are living somewhere temporary and so small that we aren't even bothering to hook up our computers.

Things I'm thankful for in 60 seconds

Kai sleeps through the night
We bought our first home in Lehi
I found some ideas for my book
I feel creative
Krista is talking to me again
Holly got her new job
I read 6 books today
I am in love with Kai
Life is beautiful
I feel beautiful
I can't wait to be a famous author (IT WILL HAPPEN)
Staying home is actually really great
popsicles rule
and so do little feet slippers.

My View of Motherhood. Or so I thought.

Two lines appeared on a day that changed my life.

The body that framed my soul like a fresh painting was loosed from my hands.
Consequence snatched me by my ankle and flipped me upside down, shaking what was left out of my pockets.

It was easy coming out of my mouth, when it wasn't about me, when the fingers were flipped in the other direction, along with staring eyes. I never thought I would be next on the hot seat. "Things" happened to everyone else. My life was my life, and nothing could change it.

Those two bold stripes couldn't wait to prove me wrong.

The day came to cause shipwreck. I wasn't in a financial, mental, or physical state to do what my body was planning on doing. I could deny it all I wanted. There was a baby factory settling its grand opening inside my stomach and it refused to budge.

My mind was pleading, "Close up shop, take a 5 year break and then you guys are more than welcome to come back...PLEASE." The little baby makers shrugged their shoulders and said, "Sorry, we just do what boss says."

And that's how it all started, my friends.